04/24/2011

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Me and My Skin As I was catching up on some subscribed pages on youtube I saw a title that leaped off the page at me. "How do you feel about your excess skin and are you going to do anything about it?" on Proofwlsworks. https://www.youtube.com/user/ProofWLSWorks Now, I don't know if it was coincidental (which I don't really believe, I think things happen for a reason) or if I noticed it because it is a tense subject with me right now. For those of you that don't know, I am approaching my 1 year "surgiversary", and I was 359 lbs the day of surgery, which means as of today I have lost 143 lbs in a year. But prior to that, my highest recorded weight was 441 lbs. So I had lost 80 lbs on my own prior to the surgery. That means I am half the woman I was! I have lost 220+ lbs in about 18 months. Good for me! Absolutely! I am healthier and happier and sexier than I have been in decades. BUT, there are some harsh realities to losing that much weight and still needing to lose another 50. I have excess skin, and LOTS of it. It's no surprise, it was to be expected, but what I am surprised about is the feeling of disgust I have when I see it. And I see it every stinkin' day. Prior to the surgery I had no mirrors in my house below neck high, and even those I only looked at to see if I had any eye boogers n such in the morning. Now, I have mirrors everywhere! I LIKE the way I look in clothes, I get to pick the clothes I WANT to wear, that actually flatter me. But at some point, they have to come off....
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You Always Hurt the Ones you Love I spent yesterday with my family for our traditional Easter meal. Our family functions tend to be a little neurotic and frenzied as my Mother kind of whips everyone into a froth. But, that I am used to...don't like it but it's not a surprise. What was kind of a surprise was the way a couple of family members react to me now. My brother and sister-in-law seemed uncomfortable. Well, let me be clear, my brother was uncomfortable because he was suffering with yet another bout of severe gout. He gets in chronically to the point he doesn't even go to the doctor for it anymore. THe doctor tells him it can be controlled by diet, and by brother hears a "Charlie Brown grown-up" voice. You know..."Wha wa wa, wa wa wa, wa wa~!" My brother is probably around 300 lbs. Just guessing there as he won't say. He is glad for my return to health, but has no respect for how it was done. He thinks you should be strong enough to "do it on your own", and because he isn't, he covers under bluster of "there's nothing wrong with me, I am fine!" Or, "I like to eat what I eat and won't eat what I don't like (ei any veggies other than potatoes and corn). But now he is suffering. He also has Menier's disease, which he was also told he could somewhat control with diet...he did it in a modified fashion for about 6 months-still no veggies- but couldn't keep it up. And when I try to talk to him about how he could do small modifications without the surgery that would help, he is looking at me talk with his eyes, but his mind is in it's happy place. Probably sitting with a bag of...

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